Teen anger is an issue that all parents will need to address hopefully before your child hits their teen years. Most parents are not prepared for the inevitable that their child will not know how to handle this powerful emotion in a constrictive manner. Your teen will grow up fast and although their physical body will mature, their minds will not mature as fast. As a parent, it is important that you help your teen learn how to control their emotions before they take on big responsibilities such as driving a car.
“My second born daughter (17 years old) is nearly as tall as her mother, but she is emotionally unstable” says Sheila Rohn, a mother of three children. “I’ve come to realize that when it comes to emotions, teens are similar to toddlers but instead of throwing a tantrum in the middle of Walmart because they can’t have a cookie, teens will rant and rave about not being treated fairly because you’ve asked them to come home at a decent hour.”
According to Parenting Teenagers Academy, parents must recognize these battles for what they are–they are irrational emotional distress that will get all parties involved tangled into its web. It’s messy and once your in–its hard to get out of. If you find yourself spun in this web of irrational emotional distress, you will do more harm than good by trying to prove your the one who is right.
Parents wants respect from their teen; parents deserve respect from their teen. This is not a problem when your child is under the age of 12; because your child will adore you at such young ages. The problem comes when your child no longer needs you and seeks their emotional independence.
Confused during this time of seeking independence, teens can find that they are being pulled in many different directions. Their friends are pulling, social media networks are pulling, parents are pulling, and school is pulling. It’s under this pressure that a lot of teens will react negatively to the one person that a teen can act out against without fear of retaliation–a mom or a dad.
Parents take the brunt of most verbal abuse. Why? Because of the old adage “You hurt the one you’re with.” Parents have to learn to recognize that when their teen is hysterical about not being able to purchase a tube of lipstick, or is hysterical about not being about to hang out with their friends, it isn’t personal (its a part of growing up).
Related: 3 Tips For Talking With Your Teen About Drug Abuse
Teen anger management can be incorporated into the way you deal with your teen if parents follow the following tips. These tips will give parents the upper hand when handling angry teens, but be well aware that success will not happen over night:
- Visualize success (if you think a heated argument will ensue – visualize yourself having a calm but stern conversation with your teen). Try reading some anger affirmations to help.
2. Learn to negotiate (How are your negotiation skills, after all it is a give and take situation)
3. Don’t lose it (Read that again – under no circumstance must you lose control)
4. Listen to your teens music (I know this one will make some parents cringe, but you can learn the language of your teen by listening to their music)
5. Stop living vicariously through your teen (You are not your teen – sometimes parents need to give space)
6. Parents are not perfect – mistakes will be made. - Get them involved with activities that can help them control their anger.
Teen anger management can be handled properly if broken down into small bite size pieces., The best thing a parent can do is learn to not fight their angry teen’s emotions, but learn to embrace their angry teen’s negative emotions. Because when it is embraced, a parent can shape and mold anger into something that no one thought possible–a smile.
