Divorce is a lengthy and emotionally-exhausting process, which can give rise to negative emotions, complicate the procedure, and results in animosity between you and your partner. This hostility can bring stress and pain for your children as well. However, it is possible to agree with your spouse on the settlement amicably by obtaining legal guidance from a trustworthy legal adviser in your locality such as a professional Salt Lake City divorce lawyer. You can also stay friendly with your spouse during and after the divorce by following the tips below:
- Understand why your marriage fell apart without blaming each other
The process of divorce can result in anger, frustration, disappointment, hurt, anxiety, guilt, and shame in either or both parties. This overloaded mixture of negative emotions may lead to you throwing all the blame for the split onto your significant other or being extra-defensive of your own actions if infidelity was involved. You could also want revenge to punish your partner for hurting you. However, these impulses and emotions will only worsen the already distressing situation. Instead, your partner and you should respectively assess your actions that resulted in the marriage falling apart. Some factors that could be responsible for your separation encompass stress, poor mental health, a difference in life stages, and personality skill deficits that decrease compatibility between you and your spouse. In some cases, trying to understand how you contributed to the relationship failing can even lead to you deciding to stay together after all. If this is the case, I recommend signing up for a couple’s therapy class to help you decide about it. However, if the best option for you two is still divorce, by working to understand the events that led up to the separation and refusing to judge or blame each other, you and your partner can increase empathy between yourselves.
- Discover your own shortcomings and work to correct them
Once you have realized your part at the end of your marriage, it is important for you to immediately start working to rectify the mistakes you have made. Regardless of the relationship ending, if you work to be more empathetic and less judgmental or criticizing toward your partner, it will simplify the settlement process. You can also be a better role model for your kids if they see you working to improve your personality.
- Learn how to cooperate and compromise
If you remain stubborn on getting your own way even during the settlement process, it will increase the feeling of hostility between you and your spouse and may lead you two to a court trial. Instead, you should make an effort to compromise and come up with a settlement that you both agree on.
- Maintain the balance between fairness and generosity
If you want to stay friends with your significant other after the divorce, you may want to exhibit your generosity while deciding on the settlement agreement. Alternatively, you may also be tempted to exploit your partner as revenge for the pain they have caused you or even greed. It is wise you make an effort to remain fair to both – your spouse and yourself – while deciding on the settlement agreement. This is because it can often be difficult to regain financial stability after a divorce.
- Look for a trust-able, experienced divorce lawyer.
Some divorce lawyers may pump you to take matters to court instead of peacefully mediating between you and your spouse during the divorce. They may behave like this to increase their own earnings. Remain cautious of any such legal advisers. Instead, choose a divorce mediator who has the experience required to guide you through the conflict to reach a solution without hostilities developing between the two parties.